I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
