i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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