after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
