normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
