We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
