Soap is not a condiment
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
