Well apparently he's into motor boating.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
