Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
