He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
