I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Randomize
