nut hugger
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
