He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Every concussion has its silver lining
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
