I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
