He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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