We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
