Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
