I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Randomize
