And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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