who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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