Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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