If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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