summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
he shaved USA in his pubs
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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