So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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