It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Randomize
