I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Porn is love you can see.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
