honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
