do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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