two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
