my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize