ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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