Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
