I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
