So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
