There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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