did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
