That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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