We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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