Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
