That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
It was confusing and full of hummus
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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