ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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