currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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