i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
