I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Randomize
