Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize