I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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