he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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