fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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