Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
