There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
