I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
