can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
