I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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