I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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