Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize