Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
