so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
