I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
