What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
