It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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