Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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