and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize