so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
