So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
