I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
