the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize