Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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