when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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