I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
