its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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