So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
