Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
