Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
